當「珍」就好：《珍的故事》的變性敘事及其性／別意識之體現

Struggling for the Authentic Being: Transsexual Narratives of The Chen Story and Its Embodied Sex/Gender Consciousness

王孝勇(WANG Hsiao-Yung)

批判語藝 ； 《珍的故事》 ； 恐同 ； 跨性者 ； 變性敘事 ； critical rhetoric ； The Chen Story ； homophobia ； transsexual ； transsexual narratives

台灣社會研究季刊

125期（2023 / 08 / 31）

67 - 125

繁體中文;英文

本研究旨在探索台灣第一位出櫃的跨性者「珍」，如何在其變性敘事中體現關乎性身分與性慾望的性／別意識。《珍的故事》是台灣首次出版的原發性變性慾者之自傳，更對1980年代變性醫療的建制化有著重大影響。研究發現，珍的變性敘事在多處確實複製著主流的性／別價值觀，包括恐同與異性戀中心論。但其唯意志論的命名語藝則在某種程度上彰顯出所謂的「女人」、「真女」，本就是一個定義範疇不穩定且無法整全的約定俗成。「酷兒化的順性愛」和「順性化的酷兒情」更挑戰了同性戀、異性戀的直接聯想與性／別設定。對此本研究指出，珍在其術前、術後以假做真、當「珍」就好的肉身物質性、皮膚自我觀、本質本體感，除了揭櫫主流性／別邏輯的排他性、有限性與缺乏彈性，更直指縱使跨性者得以「做」一個有別於出生時被編派的不同的性／別，也難以企及真正的、真實的歸屬和安居。跨性者作為性少數，其所體現的毋寧乃是從來就沒有確切字義（literal）的性身分、缺乏適切社會命名的性慾望，亦無法輕言被歸類的中間（in-between）尷尬的身體錯置狀態。《珍的故事》所體現的性／別意識，正在這個看似隱晦曖昧實則昭然若揭的文本空間裏，展現出McKerrow批判語藝（critical rhetoric）所述的支配與自由批判並陳之聲／身／生。

This essay aims to explore transsexual narratives of sexual identity and sexual desire in The Chen Story and to elaborate the embodied sex/gender consciousness. The Chen Story is the first transsexual autobiography written by a male-to-female (MTF) transsexual "Chen", who came out and self-proclaimed (instead of being diagnosed) as the primary transsexualism. This critical case also had a major impact on the institutionalization of gender-affirming hormone therapy and sex reassignment surgery in Taiwan in the 1980s. This essay found that Chen's transsexual narratives indeed reproduced and reinforced the existing sex/gender ideology frequently in her rhetoric, including homophobia and heteronormativity. However, the volitionalist and nominalist rhetoric of Chen meticulously resituated the so-called "woman" and "authentic womanhood" as equally constructive and no more essentialist. Furthermore, "queering straight sex" and "straightening out gay sex" as two different but related sex/gender tactics reciprocally problematized the literalization of homosexuality and heterosexuality. Based on the research findings, this essay argues that the somatic material, skin ego, and proprioception of Chen's pre-and post-operational body could indicate the exclusivity, limitation, and inflexibility of the mainstream sex/gender matrix. This means that transsexual's struggling for the authentic being was doomed to be informed at all points by the impossibility and failure of a longing for home, social belonging, and social acceptability. This essay concludes that transsexual as the specific sexual minority, zir sexed embodiment might enact the literal ambivalence of cross-sexual identity, an uncatalogued cross-sexual desire, and in-between intermediacy of bodily displacement. The Chen Story and its critical rhetoric performed the critique of domination and that of freedom practically in this seemingly insidious but deployable textual space.